Let's get something straight... It's OK.

It’s OK to worry.
It’s OK to space out.
It’s OK to be lonely.
It’s OK to get upset.
It’s OK to be unsure of yourself.

In other words, you don’t have to be perfect.

You can feel and experience any of these things, and still be a whole human, worthy of love and respect.

In fact, giving yourself the permission to feel and be all these things is what forms the foundation of genuine inner peace and well-being.

I’m bringing this up because I keep coming across this idea that being “mindful” means being joyful and cheery all the time. Or that it means being perfectly concentrated, never getting lost in thought or distracted.

It’s this idea you should somehow be better than all that. That you should rise above any difficulties or negative emotions in a state of spiritual transcendence and glowing radiance (cue the sunshine, butterflies, and angelic voices singing).

To that I say Horse-Rubbish!

Being able to make space for your flaws is what actually helps you move toward a greater sense of well-being.

And that the converse is true as well: when you don’t make space for what’s arising, in that very moment you are suffering, fighting against reality. Like trying to punch a 20-foot ocean wave coming at you. You will always lose.

It is impossible to be in a state of resistance and simultaneously be in a state of happiness or peace. The two mind states cannot co-exist.

If your highest aim is lasting wellbeing, and freedom from suffering, then it comes through first learning to be at peace with what is.

Mindfulness is about finding peace right where you are, no matter the circumstances.

Put it into practice:

So try this out: If your mind is full of stress, worry, and anger, see if you can make space for those feelings. Being honest with yourself about what’s actually going in. Because, that’s what’s true for you in the present moment.

One way that I like to do this is to use a short phrase to acknowledge the feeling. “Oh, right now I’m feeling _____.” Or, “Right now _____ is arising.” And then, see if you can feel it in the body. Notice what physical sensations are you experiencing.

You can do this in your formal meditation practice, or in your daily life.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes!